THIRSTY VIEWING

About 6 months ago, driven by a need for laughter and absurdity in the midst of winter, Cathy and I decided, along with friends Chris & Karlene, to start "Shitty Movie Night."  The idea was simple.  Load up on beers, rent a really shitty movie, and dig in.  We're all fans of b-movies.  But for the most part, choosing a b-movie is too lazy.  The point of a flick like Godmonster of the Yuca Flats is that it is, by its nature, shitty -- the director(s) of such flicks harbored no delusions of grandeur as to the impact the flick might have.

When the opposite case is true, it's these delusions of grandeur that make an unintentionally funny movie so goddamned hilarious!  So late one cold night, "Shitty Movie Night" was christened and launched after the four of us watched "The Number 23" via on-demand.

It's the funniest movie I've ever seen!  Jim Carrey swears with all the umph of a fat, petulant, candy-faced child!

Soon after came the official name for these nights: "Total Crap:  The Best of the Worst of the Big-Budget Bombs."

Since then, we've laughed ourselves nearly sober to the following joints:

* Catwoman

* Basic Instinct 2: Risk Addiction

* Batman & Robin

* Commando

* Cabin Boy (which turned out not to be shitty at all)

* Stayin' Alive

* The Running Man

* I Know Who Killed Me

* and more!

The directors of these movies really thought they had some hot shit on their hands.  I guess 'total crap' is a consolation prize of sorts....

If I can find the time, I want to do a small 'zine with the above-mentioned title, review the flicks, and then eventually the four of us could host a shitty movie night every few months at a local bar.

One of the women that works at Film is Truth is totally down.

Who else is in?

KAZUKO -- AN ABANDONED TUNNEL

Pharoah Sanders

"THE BIG, BAD BEAR"

IN STASIS

Inspired by James (who did this as a kid), Finnegan froze a bunch of his favorite action figures in cups overnight, and we just got them out this morning. Finny said they were all "in stasis mode," which is what Transformers go into when they're damaged.

Can't believe I didn't think of this when I was a kid.

SONNY LISTON, ROUND 2

SONNY LISTON

I'm fascinated by Sonny Liston. He was devastating in strength, and an absolute mystery. Other than a few biographies (the best being "The Devil & Sonny Liston" by Nick Tosches), FBI files, and old sports/boxing mags from the early and mid-'60s, not much of any authority exists about him.

From the top of the mountain to a solitary death in Vegas, his decline wasn't right.

He was certainly older than he let on, but I can't believe he was old enough to wither in the ring as quickly as he did.

If Ali-Liston II wasn't thrown, then Liston was too messed up to be worth anything that night.

Unanswered questions sometimes never stop nagging.

I don't think there's any chance that anyone will ever know more than a foggy outline of Liston's life. Some don't feel there's anything there worth finding.

I don't agree.

FREE DUB

Police Teeth just recorded a 20-minute-plus free-dub song called "Dickhead on a Bike," and it came out really, really well. We dimed the reverb & echo on the snare & kick-drum, and let it rip. It will be edited down to under 4 minutes for "Real Size Monster Series," which we're recording on the July 4th weekend with Conrad Uno.

So, immediately after we listened to the playback, I suggested we start a side band to play free-dub (a genre coined by Tall Chris), and everyone was in. We can play shows at the Rogue Hero with crappy jam bands and make money. Plan is to stick contact microphones on the kick and snare, and run the mics into a keyboard amplifier with the echo and reverb maxed, and improv dub beats in a free-jazz style. Laid-back like dub, but with more freak-outs.

We'll need a name for this band, obviously, so I offered up two:

SUN JAH. An obvious nod toward Sun Ra, which succinctly rams home the free-jazz/dub/rasta mash-up we'd be going for. This is probably what we'll use, but just in case, here's the other offering:

JAH BOWLTRANE. Not as succinct, but more fucked up. This one touches on the free-jazz angle, the dub/rasta angle, and the weed angle.

For a really busy person, I spend way too much time thinking about these types of things....